I have worked very hard in my life and made many sacrifices. When I am gone, there will be a couple of books, oil paintings, 70 articles in the Huffington Post (written and painted in my own hand) and hundreds of clients who will hopefully remember me as a fair and truthful legal arbitor in their French Property adventures.
I understand Kevin Costner: he seemingly works hard, not driven by money but he wants to ensure the legacy he will leave behind. Steve Jobs commissioned Walter Isaacson to write his Biography in an effort to set the record straight with his kids of why he wasn't always around. Hopefully the book provided a bit of solace for the days and nights that Dad wasn't there or seemed overly pre-occupied by the destiny he was creating.
The truth is you can't produce anything of substance or value unless you work damn hard. Perhaps such a concept is no longer in vogue but in a hundred years, Kevin Costner's films, some of them award winners, will be viewed with admiration.
I like Kevin Costner very much. I find him extremely attractive for his body of work. Clearly, any marriage is fraught with difficulties and problems and without compromise, it ends up falling apart. But sometimes you can compromise your life away and the fire in your belly is forever extinguished.
I divorced my ex-husband and completely transformed my life; the act of doing so impoverished me (I asked for nothing) but it made me determined to claw my way out of the darkness. It took years but now I live a comfortable life. I lost a lot along the way but gained contentment, or rather, the knowledge that I am what I am by the grace of God and living life on my own terms.
When there are children involved, as in the case of Mr Costner, it is relatively hard to be completely self-absorbed but a man's life is not worth living if he can't do what he is meant to be doing. I am not far in age from Mr Costner and I too understand how fast water accelerates through the plug hole as the sink empties. Whether you fear death or not, it is a strange and horrible sensation that time is running out.
The soon-to-be ex Mrs Costner is fighting for vast sums of money in child support and alimony. May it make her happy. But I fear her idea of contentment and the priceless value of each moment are at odds with the one who will be remembered by millions for the small measure of joy he brought into their lives.
A rose I grew in my garden in France.
Photo and words copyright Samantha van Dalen 2023.
