On Sat 27th December I was sitting on the train into
London Victoria from out in the shires where I live. That direct train is
usually quite empty on a Saturday at 11.00am but of course this was the
holidays so families heading for a day out or those journeying back up north
after visiting their southerly relations, had packed the carriages to the
gills. I sat next to a young, very blond and blue eyed man- everyone is getting
younger than me as I get older- who kindly removed his backpack from the seat
in order for me to sit down. In front of us were two elderly gentlemen in their
70s, one was English with a smart jacket, brown hair, distinguished. The other
was Scottish with thinning hair and thick glasses (from what I could make out
seeing them from behind). They were talking animatedly to each other- clearly
very old friends who had reunited over Christmas. Their baritone voices could
be heard distinctly above the din of chattering and crying babies. Their
conversation was continuous and intense; one could not help overhearing. From
where I joined them on the train, here is how the conversation went:
Subject A-The children- had lovely homes, excellent
jobs and were making loads of money. All the children were supposed real estate
czars who had made a killing in investing in the right property etc. (I smiled
to myself: The criterion to measure all of human existence is always money.)
Subject B-Politics-
The Englishman railed that our current government is
no different to the days of the Raj or colonisation in Africa: power is still
in the hands of a chosen few who continue to oppress the majority. Economic
oppression is exactly the same as colonisation whereby the unrestrained greed
of the City of London has literally damaged swathes of lives by impoverishing
people even further (resulting in banks not lending and interest rates going up
etc.).
Subject C-Crime/Eugenics-
The Englishman stated that more crime is going
unpunished and the only solution is to rely on science- "Hopefully",
he said, "scientists will be able to identify the gene that gives people
the propensity to do bad things," (at this stage, there was an almost
joyous trill in his voice), "doctors will act to abort those fetuses and
eliminate the risk of a bad person being born."
"Yes, yes," concurred the
Scotsman,"that sounds like a logical next step. And a good thing."
The train called at Clapham Junction and both
gentlemen got off, still in full flow. I breathed a long sigh of relief and the
blond, blue-eyed man seated next to me and I looked at each other. "Did
you hear that?" I asked. He nodded, saying: "I was about to interrupt
so I could throttle the both of them."
Tweet, Tweet!
I have been feeding wild birds forever- I love to see
their cheeky little faces poking at the kitchen window, some dare to even knock
on the window pane when their feeding baskets are empty. Blue tits are
demanding feeders, robins are fearless and suspicious, magpies travel solo to
feed and swat away the smaller birds, house sparrows are gregarious and like to
share a bath with both the tits and the sparrows, blackbirds seem to prefer
their own company etc. I do wonder though, if feeding wild birds is a good
thing: every day the usual suspects reappear and feast on suet balls that I put
out and which I seem to replenish with military precision weekly. Surely in the
summertime all of the berries were more appetising? What about a few nuts or
seeds in the Autumn? Windfall fruit just lying there for the taking? Fancy a
few flies? Grubs and small insects no good? How about a slug or two? Or a juicy
snail? All the birds seem to shake their heads and tweet loudly at me when I
ask these questions. "Negative! We want suet balls only!"
The issue of feeding wild birds presents a
philosophical dilemma- would they survive, as they and their ancestors have
clearly done for thousands of years, without me?
New Years Resolutions
"Bah humbug!", I hear you screech, at the
thought of making the dreaded New Year's Resolutions. The diet, the smoking,
the conviction that something has to change in order to bring in the new year,
leaves many breaking out in a cold sweat. As a former smoker, here's my advice
(for what it's worth): you'll stop smoking when you need to (that could mean
when you're carried out head first or when you have just had enough). If you
want to lose weight- walk more (it's free) and cook every day. If you want to
be happy, steel yourself with courage because changing what's wrong in your
life is the hardest thing you will ever do. A good place to start is to inspect
under those armchairs and sofas- you know the ones that you always vacuum
around but never move? I'll bet you anything that if you tip them over and peer
underneath, you'll be horrified to discover the hundreds of chew marks where
moths have been breeding merrily away unbeknownst to you. That's the only truth
you'll need to find this coming year: change the stuff no one else can see.
Happy New Year! I wish you all health, happiness (your
truth) and continued sanity.
PS Do remember that love makes the world go 'round so do find someone to kiss too!!
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